The Chaotic-Neutron

I had a darshan, a peaceful, undisturbed view, and with the image staying in the mind, left the place.

Nothing more. Nothing less. Just the right thing i needed for then!

This place is freaking wonderful ! Its like on the border of Kerala and Karnataka but resembles mostly of Kerala while most people talk in Kannada. He he .. Cool isn’t ??

I’ve roamed around most of the streets here from the morning and not much to do anyway. Probably after lunch will go over to the beach and hang around there for sometime ! That’s the plan(??)..

From here, the most probable next stop would be Udipi. I thought may be go over there, have a nice, calm look at Him and continue on my journey to probably Goa or somewhere else, whatever bus i get first

The buggers at Dell are still making a big fuss to give the relieving letter out. I’m getting sick, even thinking about it. Ugh. Well anyway not to spoil the fun i’m having here, i’m going to choose to forget about that for another 10 days.

Learnt from Arun at Surat that Jaisalmer is way too far off to cover in this short time. So probably will take him from Surat, and will ride on his bike to Ahmedabad, Udaipur city and then trek on alone to Jaipur !!! Yeah sounds wonderful though but i’ve got absolutely no clue on how i’m going to make it to surat by Sunday.

Well, where there is a Will, there is a Way. And so i move on …

Am really really really happy, beyond words and measure ! Its like a dream unfolding itself right in front of your eyes, and you are still there, as if struck by a lightning wondering whether all this is real.

Beautiful.

I guess i’m now a student again, a nice transition on the whole i would say. From being a immature, kiddish, freakout undergrad to a professional, still somewhat immature, software engineer to now a devoted, focussed and probably mature student in the future …

Nothing more to do as such. Got lots of relatives to visit. Got an India trip to complete. And of course get drunk like a maniac with all the friends i know and to deplete my bank balance

Well it didn’t begin well but it’s going well and i don’t know how its going to end. Will see .. Am hanging on the rope. Still…

Well anyway got loads and loads of work to do before the visa interview on June 21. The financial docs are especially a huge pain-in-the-ass. It takes a disgusting amount of time to discuss, decide and then find the right people to get the final documentation ready.

I am not expecting anything weird to happen on the D-day. Prepared enough by backtracking the interviewer’s POV on the department, financial standings, projects and background. Well it doesn’t matter really though.

Whatever in all this mess, i just realized that even though i’m unemployed now, i guess i’m doing probably twice the amount of work i got done back at Dell.

–The Fellowship of the Ring, in “The Council of Elrond”

Read the exact meaning of what Sauron states … This is funny and crazy beyond explanation !

Comrades, Developers.

Today is my last day at Dell. Hours from now, my records will become obsolete in every Dell’s enterprise system. My every login access will get disabled as though a warrior is stripped away from his sword. Well that’s the truth. And by that time, i would be doing what i’ve always wanted to do, probably far far away from here.

There have been great times, bitter times, arguments, subtle moments, realizations, aspirations and what not in this place, all through my 2 years here in Dell. There are too many things that i would love to say but too little time for now.

There is a beautiful quote which puts what i want to say with perfect precision concisely.

“Blessed is he who has found his work. Let him ask for no other blessedness.”

And i think i’ve found my work …

All the best to you all ! And if there is anything that i can do to you at any point of time, feel free to contact me.

Thanks for everything, guys !

Here i am at the fag end of my professional life, at the first and probably the last software company i’ve and will ever work for. After 2 years of working here in Dell, i might not have learned much in what i was interested before, but have learnt things that i didn’t have any idea back then. Confusing but the truth. The feeling still lingers, but all just a thought. The feeling of caught in a storm, with people and computers and the mind. Now it has subsided… Today is my last day here in Dell.

I’ve had some really great times, technically, professionally, personally, and in many more subtler ways which cannot be put in words. But bitterness has always found its way through in terms of difference of opinion and bureaucracy, elevation of process to religion and what not. And all the time the music that flowed with the code, code everywhere as though you are in the Matrix but alas again just a thought in this place. And suddenly as though the Zen of programming came before me and instructed “Do not think of the project as lines of code, but perceive it as a construct in your mind. Make the changes in your mind, and serialize them into code.”, i accepted the truth like a zombie and keyed-in the instructions without a second thought until i realized one fine day that i’ve got a repetetive stress injury ! How tragic, like a death of a warrior fighting his nemesis, to clean out the scum but falls invariably because of being the sole fighter amongst infinity. But amidst all this, the bitter sweet symphony as Mozart would have put it, continues still and hums its rythm in harmony …

The dream of doing all that i wanted has never weakened through all this struggle. I’m going for my higher studies now, something that i’ve always desired more than anything else … And i’ve got an admit in Texas A&M university with complete financial assistanship and a fellowship. All that remains is to follow that dream and crack open the door which is the bliss, unseen, unheard and not felt ever before. That is what i seek forth.

Why ? Why ? Why ? You ask. I’ve asked before. But for all that there is only one answer i can think of.

And i think i’ve found my work …

Micro was a real-time operator and a dedicated multi-user. His broadband protocol made it easy for him to interface with numerous input/output devices, even if it meant time-sharing. One evening he arrived home just as the Sun was crashing, and had parked his Motorola 68000 in the main drive (he had missed the 5100 bus that morning), when he noticed an elegant piece of liveware admiring the daisy wheels in his garden.

He though to himself, “She looks user-friendly. I’ll see if she’d like an update tonight.”

He browsed over to her casually, admiring the power of her twin 32 bit floating point processors, and inquired, “How are you, Honeywell?” “Yes, I am well,” she responded, batting her optical fibers engagingly and smoothing her console over her curvilinear functions.

Micro settled for a straight line approximation. “I’m stand-alone tonight,” he said. “How about computing a vector to my base address? I’ll output a byte to eat and maybe we could get offset later on.”

Mini ran a priority process for 2.6 milliseconds, then transmitted 8K, “I’ve been recently dumped myself and a new page is just what I need to refresh my disk packs. I’ll park my machine cycle in your background and meet you inside.” She walked off, leaving Micro admiring her solenoids and thinking, “Wow, what a global variable ! I wonder if she’d like my firmware?”

They sat down at the process table to a top of form feed of fiche and chips and a bottle of Baudot. Mini was in conversational mode and expanded on ambiguous arguments while Micro gave occasional acknowledgements although, in reality, he was analyzing the shortest and least critical path to her entry point. He finally settled on the old line, “Would you like to see my benchmark subroutine?” but Mini was again one clock tick ahead.

Suddenly, she was up and stripping off her parity bits to reveal the full functionality of her operating system. “Let’s get BASIC, you RAM” she said. Micro was loaded by this stage, but his hardware policing module had a processor of its own and was in danger of overflowing its output buffer, a hang-up that Micro had consulted his analyst about. “Core,” was all he could say, as she prepared to log him off.

Micro soon recovered, however, when she went down on the DEC and opened her device files to reveal her data set ready. He accessed his fully packed root device and was about to start pushing into her CPU stack, when she attempted an escape sequence.

“No, no!” she cried. “You’re not shielded!”

“Reset, baby,” he replied. “I’ve been debugged.”

“But I haven’t got my current loop enabled, and I can’t support child processes,” she protested.

“Don’t run away,” he said. “I’ll generate an interrupt.”

“No!” she squealed. “That’s too error prone and I can’t abort because of my design philosophy.”

But Micro was locked in by this stage and could not be turned off. Mini stopped his thrashing by introducing a voltage spike into his main supply, whereupon he fell over with a head crash and went to sleep.

“Computers!” she thought as she compiled herself. “All they ever think of is hex!” …