Nil says the water

Creatures in the dark, fumbling through naked truth

Such emphasis on transient sorrows leaves ties stranded;

Mercurial thoughts can offer no solace, what can soothe ?

A reflection in hindsight vivid, memory branded.

Be water, flow with joy, bend on a whim and a will,

Neither shape nor form, binds frame,

Without color or odor, energy be Nil,

Sannyasi, and an artist did once lay their claim.

What is Philosophy ?

Well written and a nice weekend read. Philosophy, in my opinion, is an all encompassing search for the reasons driving action, the science behind our so called evolved mind and the never ending quest to understand the ways of the universe. Yes it is science. And it is abstract. I would like to think there is a reason why one of the highest forms of scientific degrees is called a `PhD’. I could talk more about the topic but read the article and develop your own philosophy that makes sense to you.

“In the life of a man, his time is but a moment, his being an incessant flux, his senses a dim rushlight, his body a prey of worms, his soul an unquiet eddy, his fortune dark, and his fame doubtful. In short, all that is of the body is as coursing waters, all that is of the soul as dreams and vapours; like a warfare, a brief sojourning in an alien land; and after repute, oblivion. Where, then, can man find the power to guide and guard his steps? In one thing and one alone: Philosophy.”
~ Marcus Aurelius, Meditations

Source: The Fading Art of Philosophy – Musing Mind

The river

Under blissful stillness in the mountains,
Currents stream decisively, the veins lands yet see;
Nourishing what is, impartial, without a cause,
August setting to teach life lessons.

Beaten down path, the flow downstream,
Doubts remain to tread anew or to follow.
Calm and with purpose, conjoined into mother’s yoke.

Coarse and turbulent, the vivid upstream,
Discloses without bias, doorways supreme.
Sweet the prize, harder still the path.

Twin decisions lie ahead.
Swim against, reach the source,
Remain still, go with the flow.
How decides one?

So…

I think a lot of people, have questioned why my sentences often start with “So …”.

I realize it is so, probably because I finish half the conversation in my head long before my mouth catches up to my thought conveyed.

So.. should I slow the brain or talk faster ?

A requiem

A draft originated, a tumultuous decade,
thoughts added piecemeal, the requiem grew,
a seed blossomed anew, surreal,
tides of time trimmed a neutron’s half-life.

When the wicked are confounded,
Doomed to flames of woe unbounded,
Call me, with Thy Saints surrounded.
Low I kneel, with heart submission!
See, like ashes my contrition!
Help me in my last condition!

Long awaited, aspiration to write a book fruitless
and lost ‘midst tasks in a whimsical life.
Yearning for knowledge gathered through experiences,
sensations, beyond words, intangible through language.
Here is a ramble on philosophy and thoughts never told.

Here, in another time, beyond material world,
Wisdom dawns bright and darkness scorched,
Ignorance and pride burnt to ashes.
A new day unfolds, mysteries pondered unsolved,
with knowledge of That inadequate,
my comeuppance delivered, without a warning.

Chance, the dice, a sly player,
brings a child blinding aspiration, introduced;
new meaning, average expectation devoid and existence exciting.
Fate presumed plans, molds a survivor,
a seed, science, a new beginning.
Anew started four years of fond memories thus far.

Innocent and ignorant the first fifteen,
knowledge filled the void but ignorance remained the next five;
here stands a Self, after ten more, on path to realization,
aspiring for ethics to unlearn, knowledge gained alike.

A fleeting feeling, life on the cusp,
evolution forced deliberately to destroy the suit;
unconscious the effort, unknowing the consequence before.
The ironic mind develops on its own, independent,
tackling tasks fathomed impervious, in precision
thoughts dared not touched, imperceptible at first.
The weak succumb to illusion and knowledge the true path.

Another effort to bring back the body from the brink
Marathons lay in front, mind endured.
Pain but the weakness leaving the body.
The blackhole still does not fade, like cancer hurts;
Control is but ignorance personified, now realized.
Conquered the distance, thrice, but the longing thrives.

Mutilation of Self, not the intention from the beginning,
Through obsessions fulfilled with transient pleasure.
The mind survives, desire without attachment.
‘Not the philosophy to sacrifice everything, to attain it all ?
This ecstasy of the obsession in the face of affliction
Has but led this life to new heights and body penalized.

Sleeping, thinking, eating, drinking, cooking, running, coding,
All but one more downfall in temporal realization.
Nevertheless, love for addictions transforms, aspiration
And new friends attained thereby. New bridges crossed hence.

Blessed is he, who has found his work;
Let him ask for no other blessedness.
The last eight years, a nuclear engineer dreamed
Realized and fulfilled, a father’s wish.
Long and hard the path traveled, at times cruel;
With friends for guidance and others inspired.

The final work, my karma,
Carried at the end of this and born with it, next.
If cause and effect did change,
Perspectives, opinions, ambition,
Let this work make the difference,
Between my life, death and beyond.

An undying feeling that money, a social trick
Need not bothered but finds its way, wished not,
forced not, desired not.
Difficult times mixed with pleasant, helped
Family and friends when necessary,
Grateful to Thee, never felt abandoned.

Words untold become words lost. For eons.
That shall be, till life becomes dust.
Belief in human nature, capable of the righteous,
And wretched alike, imagined.

Life filled with ironies, a harmony
Created in embrace, far more sublime than senses offer.
In the end, the Brahman stays eternal,
While ignorant half-knowledge bickers, human ethics.
None the better, a nuclear engineer or a carnal maid,
The self replicated, origin and deliverance from ego.
Seven billion possibilities, the vagaries of the mind
To decipher the chaotic fractal of the infinite dimensional Om.

This life, full, fruitful, past regrets,
Meditating on the now, for He sculpted the past and future.
This chaotic living has been beautiful.
The path treaded eventful, extraordinary,
grateful to the family loved, raised me,
to the friends laughed and moved, this soul.
Inadequate, a droplet in an ocean, these words
in gratitude for life enriched, ways rare.
My expectation, reflections in mirror,
spurred lives that changed mine, along right directions.

Final thoughts, quotes flood. A poem apt before told
by Henry Van Dyke, `the Parable of Immortality`.

I am standing upon the seashore.
A ship at my side spreads her white sails to the morning breeze
and starts for the blue ocean.

She is an object of beauty and strength,
and I stand and watch until at last she hangs
like a speck of white cloud
just where the sea and sky come down to mingle with each other.
Then someone at my side says,
“There she goes!”

Gone where?
Gone from my sight . . . that is all.

She is just as large in mast and hull and spar
as she was when she left my side
and just as able to bear her load of living freight
to the place of destination.

Her diminished size is in me, not in her.

And just at the moment
when someone at my side says,
“There she goes! ”
there are other eyes watching her coming . . .
and other voices ready to take up the glad shout . . .

” Here she comes! “

If we have seen, talked, laughed, drank or loved,
Do not mourn this passing.
Burn away thoughts somber.
Remember me during your best of times, a last request,
For life eternal flows on,
And may the next one be longer,
fulfilling and as memorable as this one…

The dreadful mundane.

Amadeus

Finished?
Mozart:What?
The vaudeville, what do you think?
Mozart:Yes.
Can I see it?
Mozart:No.
Why not?
Mozart:Because there’s nothing to see.
I asked you if we could start rehearsals next week and you said yes.
Mozart:We can.
So let me see it. Where is it?
Mozart: Here. (Pointing to his head) It’s all right here in my noodle.
The rest is just scribbling. Scribbling and bibbling, bibbling and scribbling.

I say the same when I have a fantastic idea for a paper. Repetitively. It’s so beautiful in the mind, so perfect, un-obscured, and straight-forward, bright as an evening star. But the drudgeries of writing them down, the explanations and the unnecessary words to put it across seems mundane and annoying and hence I keep post-poning… Let someone come up with telepathy already and relieve me of the mundane. Let me just think and resolve while the superficial details unimportant, become unnecessary here forth…

Fasting – A revelation

For the past few days, I’ve indulged myself in my work, more unusually, more intensely than my recent memories serve. The price I paid was with sleep and food. But a sudden realization came through today. Having oneself deprived of food, brings about a self so acute, senses on the edge, to quickly see what needs to be done. More quickly than a sated mind ever perceives. Yes, the blood sugar drops, no doubt, but the body survives on more than just your daily glucose. I learnt that while running, I learn that while pushing the self. Perhaps it is the mind’s way of coping up and optimizing to do tasks more efficiently.

I pondered once on the idea of fasting. I was intrigued then. There are those who wish they didn’t have to fast, all over the world, while in parallel, others do because they are compelled. I see why now. Even the sages did it. Even imbibed it as part of a belief system, in lands across. In depriving oneself of the pleasure, of food, the sustenance, there is a certain sense of introspection that arrives unforeseen. It doesn’t necessitate deep meditation nor self denial by other means but it comes from the primal need. Any abstinence, has its purest cofactor that is undeniable. Tangible and so thick that it can’t be ignored.

I understand now because I was famished. I could have eaten anything in sight. Organic, inorganic, living or dead. I could’ve eaten metal. I tried to eat paper. But I managed to bring sense into myself to get a decent order to take home and relish after a hard day but the journey home, on an empty stomach was not easy. It was only just over twelve hours since my last meal but the food in my car emanated a perfume I couldn’t resist, one which I had to endure for another hour’s drive. It wasn’t easy. I couldn’t imagine something more rigorous on the mind and visions filtered through …

I once quoted:

There is not any memory with less satisfaction than the memory of some temptation we resisted.

I thought I understood. But again, it’s all relative. We constantly push the realms and unexpected as this was, took my reality for a spin to bring me back to senses. Fasting, a delirious feeling inevitable, teaches much. Restraints, denial, perseverance and strength. Of course, the taste of the food itself is immaterial for it always is as heavenly as it could be…

Duality — the oscillations

All things occur in pairs; there is no light without the dark, no good without evil, no action without its reaction, no life without death. Perhaps it is enough to realize the union of the duality, the split personality of things that are an illusion, rather than delving deep into the segregated extrema. Or perhaps, the blatant maxim is to know the circle of life, intensifying from ignorance to enlightenment, separated only by an infinitesimal event horizon, while we surf the coaster once more.

I was hurt, psyche and body, repeatedly. But it’s nothing that a new laptop, more work, some physio, new wallet and cards/id can’t fix. I misunderstood. This year has been a test. A test on actions, morals assumed, resolve weakened, aspiration mocked and evolution impeded. The ride has spiralled me down to abysses named not, but every rise hence thereafter, takes one a spectra higher. Every time the nadir goes lower, higher the zenith rises. Understand now, every change invokes new experiences, immaterial the perception, simple and beautiful. No need to get emotions riled up for moments in vain or august, but feel relieved that there is a balance, eventual.

I ache for that balance at the end of the path. Inevitably we shall get there, now or another. I pray not for myself anymore but for those who pray, care for me. Perhaps it is the will that sustains, even long after you are gone, through infinite lives, to reunite and fulfill. A causality. A seed. Propagated through eternity till its fruition. Reminded yet again in movies, music, quotes, physics, math and everyday life. As long as life exists, this can’t stop. Try me heavens. Do your worst…

A philosophy respected.

I’ve recommended taking in the good and bad with equal fervor for very long. That is because without experiencing the extremes, hitting rock-bottom and coming to terms with yourself seems futile. Of course, this is a very distorted way of getting there but it pushes the meta-physical in understanding chaos around you more precisely. Or that is perhaps what this illusioned mind thinks.

But when you can no longer compensate the good with the bad or vice-versa, it is time to give up both. After a recent disastrous incident, my urge to conquer the physical has been quite unsatisfied and involuntarily, I’ve been pushing myself more and more in the opposite direction. It took me time to realize the absurdity of this decision but never too late I hope. I’m realigning my focus on the physical and will push it again beyond a half, a full and even more. Perhaps an ultra ? Time will tell.

Cryptic ? No. Confused ? Yes. We all are …