The Chaotic-Neutron » Philosophy

Particles do converge …

Neutron — Mon, 26 Dec 2011 06:30:59 +0000

Fluid is life, flowing incessant, unyielding,
Punished by vagaries will, let the soft pass,
Supple yet dense, for forces hard.
Surreal the thought, pure the accomplishment.

A persona shines supreme, a soaring phoenix;
Thoughts beyond, change resisted, failed short,
Resplendent the mind image, intuition fought,
Fruitless an union, once.

A splinter in the mind’ eye,
Yearning, buried ‘midst work and play;
A heart torn asunder, resonant,
senses enriched, a beacon visible aloft.

Regret, pangs mounted, emotions billow,
flux, a future, a sublime moment past;
Experiences gained once, crumbled mountains to sands,
With time and resolve. A mail arose hence. So long.

A serene voice, outcome unexpected, connected link,
Inaccurate once perceived, the mind,
Blundered the sublime message, man blind,
A hallowed angel, salvaged one from the brink.

Discovered anew, aspiration and adoration,
To the quintessential essence, meditation, a consciousness,
To an oscillation, duality, a swan,
To my liberation, music, a magic flute,
To a reflection, beloved, a unique spirit.

We adore not a person perfect, only
realize an imperfect person perfectly.
Ye be the perfectly imperfect hemispheres,
Conjoined to form, a luminous, peerless yoke.
This shall be all our stories,
For always divine, the bond with any name.

Inception Quiet the times, wafting on a river, Torrid the waves,...

Duality — the oscillations

Neutron — Thu, 24 Nov 2011 01:26:00 +0000

All things occur in pairs; there is no light without the dark, no good without evil, no action without its reaction, no life without death. Perhaps it is enough to realize the union of the duality, the split personality of things that are an illusion, rather than delving deep into the segregated extrema. Or perhaps, the blatant maxim is to know the circle of life, intensifying from ignorance to enlightenment, separated only by an infinitesimal event horizon, while we surf the coaster once more.

I was hurt, psyche and body, repeatedly. But it’s nothing that a new laptop, more work, some physio, new wallet and cards/id can’t fix. I misunderstood. This year has been a test. A test on actions, morals assumed, resolve weakened, aspiration mocked and evolution impeded. The ride has spiralled me down to abysses named not, but every rise hence thereafter, takes one a spectra higher. Every time the nadir goes lower, higher the zenith rises. Understand now, every change invokes new experiences, immaterial the perception, simple and beautiful. No need to get emotions riled up for moments in vain or august, but feel relieved that there is a balance, eventual.

I ache for that balance at the end of the path. Inevitably we shall get there, now or another. I pray not for myself anymore but for those who pray, care for me. Perhaps it is the will that sustains, even long after you are gone, through infinite lives, to reunite and fulfill. A causality. A seed. Propagated through eternity till its fruition. Reminded yet again in movies, music, quotes, physics, math and everyday life. As long as life exists, this can’t stop. Try me heavens. Do your worst…

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Awake. Again.

Neutron — Sun, 20 Nov 2011 06:12:00 +0000

You have to take risks, he said. We will only understand the miracle of life fully when we allow the unexpected to happen. Every day, God gives us the sun–and also one moment in which we have the ability to change everything that makes us unhappy. Every day, we try to pretend that we haven’t perceived that moment, that it doesn’t exist–that today is the same as yesterday and will be the same as tomorrow. But if people really pay attention to their everyday lives, they will discover that magic moment. It may arrive in the instant when we are doing something mundane, like putting our front-door key in the lock; it may lie hidden in the quiet that follows the lunch hour or in the thousand and one things that all seem the same to us. But that moment exists–a moment when all the power of the stars becomes a part of us and enables us to perform miracles.

– Paulo Coelho, By the River Piedra I Sat Down and Wept

Speechless. Life has its odd ways of testing one’s resolve but when the moment of clarity does dawn, sieze it. Intuition always guides in the right path. They say, that it’s being impulsive but we are different. For better or worse, ignorant as often we are to see, follow without regrets, and perform that miracle.

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I run. Why-o-Why ?

Neutron — Thu, 17 Nov 2011 03:37:14 +0000

More often than I care, queried, the reasons endured,
Injury and therapy, without weary, managed, amidst muscles sore.
Two screws, titanium strong, sustain movement, each knees tried,
Unprofessional weakling forlorn, strengths born, in stride.

After conquering tasks, men abhorred,
I remember once again, reasons I run for;
It nourishes movement, a sloth died,
Pumps through my veins, makes me feel pride,
Slowly but surely, winds of change, pure,
A feeling lucidly reassured.

It moves me forward, to a future I see,
Teaches no regret for the expired,
I’ve left behind, retired,
And ahead the beautiful seasons before me.
Hope provided, life we think is sure,
It is yet more brittle and pure.

She wages, provides meaning once more
Subtler than words from a mind obscure.
Blatant the health revived, with sweat,
Sublime still the reasons, yet.
A final thought thus evolves,
Run thyself and realize my resolve.

For my writing, shy and barren,
do injustice to the feeling matured;
For the mind’ eye perceives,
an infinite unique possibilities.
Far more to be said, miles to be conquered,
races to be defeated, running life to be fulfilled.

I run. And I love it. In case you have not known, or I haven’t updated,...
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Particles do converge … Fluid is life, flowing incessant, unyielding, Punished by vagaries will,...

A philosophy respected.

Neutron — Sun, 23 Oct 2011 06:36:14 +0000

I’ve recommended taking in the good and bad with equal fervor for very long. That is because without experiencing the extremes, hitting rock-bottom and coming to terms with yourself seems futile. Of course, this is a very distorted way of getting there but it pushes the meta-physical in understanding chaos around you more precisely. Or that is perhaps what this illusioned mind thinks.

But when you can no longer compensate the good with the bad or vice-versa, it is time to give up both. After a recent disastrous incident, my urge to conquer the physical has been quite unsatisfied and involuntarily, I’ve been pushing myself more and more in the opposite direction. It took me time to realize the absurdity of this decision but never too late I hope. I’m realigning my focus on the physical and will push it again beyond a half, a full and even more. Perhaps an ultra ? Time will tell.

Cryptic ? No. Confused ? Yes. We all are …

A runners philosophy. Every time there is a self deprecating sensation to give...

Friends met and lost.

Neutron — Wed, 03 Aug 2011 02:12:50 +0000

I feel sad. Friends are all I’ve had in my life to comfort. And I am going to be disconnected with few more today. It was my last day of physiotherapy, an ailing need after a knee surgery. And my therapists, lovely as they are, are also incredibly beautiful in their persona. Now that I’ve decided to move on, the chance of ever seeing/meeting them again might be a far off chance.

How many people do we meet everyday who change our lives in ways unfathomed. It was not just their act of helping me through my physical disability, even if it was their occupation, but it was much more. The mental support, a conversation that showed you care and a genuine interest in your patient’s life. And that, I can never do. Nor even remotely replicate. I am not selfish by any means but to maintain that kind of attachment to someone you’ve known for a short while makes me humble. Humble because they think that everyone at the clinic is worth it. Without judgement. Without bias.

Like best friends afar, I will miss another session. It is the most depressing times that brings closer the like minds. I will surely spit on anyone who says otherwise.

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Relativity and irony.

Neutron — Mon, 13 Jun 2011 03:16:09 +0000

I once almost lost my cell phone. It was one of those days when I was having a good time when my cell phone probably fell out of my jacket during transit in a taxi. But a gentleman passenger, made sure I got the phone back. Kudos to him. But the horrors that went through my mind before I got a call from him were bad. Why you ask ? I have a lot of information apart from just contacts on my phone. And you could probably access all my mails, my twitter, facebook and what not from that mobile. What makes you stronger also makes you vulnerable. And that I found ironic.

But there was a recent event, that has completely made me depressed and lifeless, which you could compare against the above in terms of the anxiety. I (my house) got robbed over the weekend. They took my laptop, an external drive and some other random things. They left the TV. I would whole-heartedly exchange my TV, my bike, my books, my microwave and a few other things just to get my laptop back. Not for the laptop itself but for what it contains. It was my companion on so many days/nights, it helped me through some tough times at work, and it holds the key to most of what I’ve done in the past two years. It is heart breaking to know that it is all gone and the horrors return.

It would have been a consolation to at least have the external disk around, which contains all the back-ups of my work. But that is gone too. When you can’t even save anything in your own home for safe keeping, what can you depend on ? And being as attached to the work as I am, it only intensifies the pain. I am 3 months away from renewing my position and now I am behind on my schedule to finish 2 more papers. This might not have a happy ending.

At the end of the day, losing a laptop just hurts so much more than losing a phone. And that is relativity for the un-initiated. The beauty of physics is that the most purest of the theories are great philosophies too. And there I shall end this post. Still moping…

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Good, Bad and the weird.

Neutron — Sat, 11 Jun 2011 03:05:10 +0000

Its the weirdest thing. I was watching a Korean movie and something popped out as very deep. The exact lines were

“If you chase something to get something, something else will come chasing you.”.

Paraphrasing that, “what you are passionate about is passionate about you too”. It is quite true in a sense (unexplainable unless you’ve been there) and scary. I guess I never realized it in that way but it makes perfect sense. Physically and philosophically…

Now I remember why I watch all these foreign movies …

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The Wrestler

Neutron — Thu, 05 May 2011 20:21:32 +0000

Again, Aronofsky, that insane mind of his came up with the right edge to cut through the crass in my mind. It is a beautiful movie. On the surface, it is a story about a washed out wrestler, at his nadir, hoping to redeem himself of his past mistakes. But time heals, hardens and keels the right and wrong decisions of one’s life. When Randy the ‘Ram’ realizes that he is alone, as all of us are at the end of the day in facing facts of life, he turns to the one thing he is passionate about, even if eventuality dictates his death.

And that is breath-taking. Not just because it portrays every other man’s life in essence, but it proves the validity of one my favorite sayings:

Blessed is he who has found his work; let him ask no other blessedness.
– Thomas Carlyle

No matter how much I try to divert myself in other activities, it always comes back to yielding satisfaction from my work. It is trivial in the bigger picture, I understand, but without something as pure, what could appease a mind in chaos ? It cannot be money, or power, or a woman or even heaven. They seem like a burden even and portray a muddled picture.

And such is the power of a good movie. It provides the reason to introspect without which, humans would still be apes. Imagination IS more important than knowledge. Thanks AL.

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Thoughts on a requiem.

Neutron — Sat, 09 Apr 2011 03:12:09 +0000

‘Requiem for a dream’. I don’t know whether it is my love for Aronofsky’s movies or whether the concept of it. Or the soundtrack he masterfully selects to haunt in the background. But I see most subtle beauty in it when all I’ve heard is bleak, depressing after thoughts from people seen it through their eyes. Given that it is not the feel good movie of the decade, it has a certain elegance in its portrayal of the human affliction in essence, to please, to be addicted, to feel life, to earn, and to survive. There are no depressing thoughts in this world, only ones that give you a fresh perception of better days. And often, this is unrealized, tangled in facades of transient pleasures, leaving us to choke when the cusp of life faces your naked mentality.

Without lateral thoughts, without necessity, without pain, what a dull life this would be. Experiment. Lose yourself. And fight hard to find yourself. The search, inevitable, the only path to realization.

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A puzzling revelation.

Neutron — Mon, 27 Sep 2010 03:29:33 +0000

I was waiting for a train, a normal day and I noticed that a kid, barely 4 years old, was trying so hard to get along with his brother and his friend. You could tell that he was not comfortable running as fast as he did or moving sideways like his brother could but it is the perseverance to keep up and to stick with the group that puzzled me. There is absolutely nothing new here. This is everyday scenario. But what is intriguing is that when we (all of us) were kids, the only thought that runs through our mind is to be part of the group, the popular, the happening click but as we get older, each of us yearn to create an identity for ourselves, distancing from the cliche, from the regular, trying so hard to be different.

Is this what you call maturity ? Is this the misconception that prevails ? If the intuitive thinking of kids was unblemished, would this not be its opposite ? Confusing yes, but life without questions is not worth living. And so we continue, searching …

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Liberation

Neutron — Sat, 09 Jan 2010 06:29:53 +0000

I had an argument, in an elated state
Few years back, with someone who understood
The idea, but not through my eyes, a distorted palate,
Here I am again, watching, standing on what I believe.

This movie, a rebellion from mundane existence,
Far moved thoughts, than Matrix ever has.
Absolute resignation the key, to rise, to see,
An aghori created within,
To know, to discern Liberation.
Here’s another master piece, misunderstood.

This is another reason why I watch as many movies as I do and read as many fiction/poetry as I can get my hands on. May be I’m still searching for that affirmation for what I think I know…

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Quotes – 14

Neutron — Tue, 05 Jan 2010 04:06:45 +0000

“You know what people should do? Tell the truth, in writing and fiction, the real sincere truth, the truth that hurts – make sure it hurts to say it – and the illusions will drop away. And life without illusions is both frightening and exhilarating.”
- John Shirley

I know we can see beyond the maya and find the absolute truth. in time…

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When will we change ?

Neutron — Wed, 09 Dec 2009 05:25:16 +0000

This is a pure rant and thoughts that came across based on a mundane incident.

Today I met a guy at a grocery store and passed “hello” casually while buying the milk I had in my hand. I noticed the guy talking to his friend on his phone and realized he was talking Bengali. Even if he looked a little middle-eastern/Indian, I wasn’t sure initially about his origin but after hearing him speak, it was clear that he was from India. And so while I was paying my bill, I casually asked the guy if he was from Bengal and saw a grin in his face. His answer was “Are you from India ?” and so I happily said “Tamilnadu”. He replied again “I’m from Bangladesh” with a serious stare, without blinking, his grin vanishing and still cold. All I could muster was “OK” and walked away. Looking back, an incidental encounter like that should not affect me but it was still disturbing.

Why ? I ponder. Did he have to break off the conversation because I was from India ? May be he suffered in the hands of some random Indians, amongst the billion of us. Or he just hates Indians. And more specifically south Indians. Either way, I do not care. But it pains me to think how all of us, humans in general, hate each other so much and create segregations based on race, religion, land, ethnicity, faith and even ideas that we often forget the beauty of the divine unity.

Sometimes I think, the only way to bring people together is to create this all powerful ‘Alien’, a devil, that oppresses every human, immaterial of the origin or belief, all the same. Then, the hatred can be channeled on this one source and unite us as the earth race. And that is the first step to reaching universal singularity. I hope that will happen eventually because this attitude we carry is self destructive and cannot last long and will not let us live in peace. It is probably the nature of our species and a higher evolution might change the perspective. Or so I hope.

I diverged from couple of steps to light years on this post but my thoughts, hopefully come across clear. May be it is time for me to get a smart phone to type this up as when I get the thoughts rather than remembering what I came across couple of hours before.

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Micro and Macro – Is there a difference ?

Neutron — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 03:24:50 +0000

I have been meditating for a few years now and every now and then, I have this realization that I can expand to the entire size of the universe and contract myself to the size of an atom, just moving with my breath. It is a beautiful feeling but my words are inadequate to express them.

But when you look at two images side-by-side, representing the macro and micro universes and find similarities beyond comprehension, there is very little to express in words any more.

Oral surface of a young seastar (40x)

The neutron star in the Cassiopeia A supernova

Just look and meditate on it. Enough said.

Reflected Reflections ! ...
Premier League Photo of the Decade The photo is from the Premier League web site Ten...

A runners philosophy.

Neutron — Sun, 20 Sep 2009 20:27:15 +0000

Every time there is a self deprecating sensation to give up, there always is that one aspiration that brings you back on your foot, giving life to lost senses. Most often, it is hard to realize what ticks you, even though latently you believe in it, and it driving you through the mundane and hardships that the universe conjures. But when you do reach deep down and find that reminiscent feeling, it is worth a thousand unfulfilled lives.

There have been some real tough situations, when the pressure is getting to your head, I’ve managed to thread out the strength to move forward but never has it been more apparent to me, the source of this strength, than when I’m running. The long distances, however painful they might be, brings out a beast, tamed and strong, with a resolve to push the body beyond your preconceived perception of limits. And that is worth the physical pain, I believe, and brings me back to doing more of these over and over. Endurance although intuitively physical, is a lot more mental at its core, a similarity that I think true yoga and a marathon share…

If my body can take more of this abuse, I sure hope to continue running till my heart gives out …

A philosophy respected. I’ve recommended taking in the good and bad with equal...

Nothing is everything.

Neutron — Thu, 07 May 2009 21:26:09 +0000

This is something I understand, strive to reach every day. And every time I try, I fail.

And what I have not expressed in words yet, this comic portrays, an inevitable and undeniable truth, beautifully, like a reflection of the full moon, on a lake without ripples.

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Unexpected, a quote.

Neutron — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 06:04:46 +0000

I was watching TV, working on my code, not paying any attention to what was going on. And I look up and hear Achilles say,

I’ll tell you a secret. Something they don’t teach you in your temple. The Gods envy us. They envy us because we’re mortal, because any moment might be our last. Everything is more beautiful because we’re doomed. You will never be lovelier than you are now. We will never be here again.

Beautiful. ‘Troy’, a movie that is pretty normal in most aspects IMO, packed a dialogue so intense, so true and elegant. I cannot even begin to express my appreciation in mere words, on the subtlety this transcends. It was like poetry…

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Five mysteries of the universe.

Neutron — Thu, 05 Feb 2009 19:46:38 +0000

Few of the things I care about in this endless pursuit of knowledge, as an individual on this earth … Concisely and very precisely thought out and written in simplicity:

1) Universe
2) Life
3) Death
4) Free Will
5) Sex

Michael Brooks on five mysteries of the universe.

Update: In a tangential topic, here are couple of things few others are worried, about the solar system: The Unknown Solar System.

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The legend of Faust

Neutron — Sat, 27 Dec 2008 03:46:12 +0000

I have heard about the legend of Faust before but never had the chance to read it. As destiny would have it, I recently stumbled upon Faust again, one of the works by Goethe (Johann Wolfgang von Goethe), the one that made him apparently famous in the literary world of then Europe.

For the past few days, piecemeal I’ve read and it is beautiful. My only regret is that I did not discover this gem before.

The tale of Faust is supposed to be Goethe’s greatest work into which he poured a lifetime of experience; the entire work took him his whole life and he finished the second part only a year before his demise. The literary work is written as a play (a poetical drama actually) and it portrays an interplay of religion, the supernatural, love, tragedy and the surreal. To give you an introduction about Faust, here’s a brief synopsis.

Faust is an old man, a sage or an alchemist, wise, learned and very pious. We see a conversation between God and Mephistopheles (satan) in which God remarks that Mephistopheles may try all he likes to tempt Faust; God is confident that Faust is too moral an individual to be tempted by anything. Mephistopheles sets to work, appearing to Faust and conversing with him. Faust is weary of life, and Mephistopheles is soon able to convince him that he could sample something more.

The story concerns the fate of Faust in his quest for the true essence of life. Frustrated with learning and the limits to his knowledge and power, he attracts the attention of the Devil (Mephistopheles), who agrees to serve Faust until the moment he attains the zenith of human happiness, at which point Mephistopheles may take his soul. Faust is pleased with the deal, as he believes the moment will never come.

In the first part, Mephistopheles leads Faust through experiences that culminate in a lustful and destructive relationship with an innocent and nubile woman named Gretchen. Gretchen and her family are destroyed by Mephistopheles’ deceptions and Faust’s desires and actions. The story ends in tragedy as Gretchen is saved and Faust is left in shame.

The second part begins with the spirits of the earth forgiving Faust (and the rest of mankind) and progresses into rich allegorical poetry. Faust and his devil pass through the world of politics and the world of the classical gods, and meet with Helen of Troy (the personification of beauty). Finally, having succeeded in taming the very forces of war and nature Faust experiences a single moment of happiness.

The devil Mephistopheles, trying to grab Faust’s soul when he dies, is frustrated as the Lord intervenes — recognizing the value of Faust’s unending striving.

This has been one of the most interesting drama’s I have ever read. It portrays one of the imminent weaknesses of the human kind; The quest for knowledge and the impossibility to attain enlightenment without the passion. And It punches in all that with philosophical poetry. Enough said. Go grab a copy now and enjoy it.

Download from Google for free.

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What stays ?

Neutron — Fri, 25 Jun 2004 09:08:00 +0000

The blissful silence in the depth of the night
Illusion of the mind in control, touching greater height
Peace descends all around in absolute serenity
The concentration opens and reaches the Universe in pure sublimity.

This joy that lingers ; Will it stay ?
All crutches to raise to that, haunts night and day
Tomorrow chaos shall return but memories do remain.
But that something touched feels pure like a elixir’s rain !

Life, this bitter sweet symphony
Still plays its tune amidst ruckus in complete harmony.
Every action, reaction perfect to its end
And so shall it be until all the energy is spent.

I run. Why-o-Why ? More often than I care, queried, the reasons endured, Injury...
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Them

Neutron — Wed, 31 Mar 2004 08:33:00 +0000

They want me to speak, not be moody
I am not moody, I retort but am stable
They dont understand, they insist
They comment on a man with dialogues …

What am i to reply to all that ?
Do i need to, is another question on the edge
All i can do is laugh at the faces
Not on theirs but on destiny’s and await what is to come.

Smile, laugh, joy and all that sustains
I try, persist and I shall succeed.
Nothing really matters on what opinion they contain
All that i need now is the will to proceed.

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Dreams

Neutron — Thu, 25 Mar 2004 10:26:00 +0000

Dreams, aspirations what make thee
The life’s sole push that drives and moves
What all we want endlessly remains the key
The beauty, intricately woven shapes the path.

The dream, the vision of an unknown life
The subconscious instruction speaking uncontrolled
Burning the fire withing, incessantly without strife
The will burns, changing future of everyone felt betrayed.

As i speak, my dream changes me
Going with the flow i desired, willed
That which is everything shall move and satisfy thee
This hope shall not fade away even if i am now killed.

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Soft Love

Neutron — Thu, 11 Mar 2004 13:56:00 +0000

Clear and blank, thoughts come in one by one.
Truly alone, with me and my solitude
Feeling so complete with joy even when nothing is yet done
I now know, see, that which troubled with certitude.

The silent bullet in the heart
Burning ever so lightly, eating away the thought
The cause, my passion for an illusion
Led me astray with vagaries and delusion.

Software, computers, one of what i Love,
Maybe for all eternity i shall crave;
This Hole, Enterprise, Organisation will not save,
The motive i nurture to my grave…

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The Difference

Neutron — Mon, 01 Mar 2004 07:26:00 +0000

What is the difference at the end of the day
All this and that, existing here and there
It always seems so simple but lots more to say
Wrong it might be, unknowingly breaking boundaries I do not dare.

The difference between chaos and serenity
The difference between day and night
So clear, what i am searching for in absolute vicinity
The riddle complete containing the answer is still a fight.

The clue, the sphere and circle
The ultimate shape of matter’s least resistance
End reality, the beginning illusion is the cycle
All ye extremes do meet at infinity.

What is the difference between meditation and concentration ?
Only Fire that burns holds the key
With it, Heat concentrates and without ‘That’
Nothing burns anymore, for thee.

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Blackhole

Neutron — Sat, 21 Feb 2004 19:20:00 +0000

Past, the treasure of knowledge
And future, no different than Past in reverse
Both speak the truth, the only truth
Yet the mind ignorant does not see.

Trace the past, at each previous step
A truth unfolds, a part of the big picture
Every step back, enlarges the view
But the panorama locked behind the blackhole.

If the origin was the blackhole
Where thoughts and Light escape not
Then if the biggest view is the abyss
What shines and what does not ?

The blankness, devoid of emotions
In sync with the blackness of origins
That which creates and kills
We only see what we will.

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Silence

Neutron — Wed, 04 Feb 2004 19:15:00 +0000

If the eyes are closed, does the mind shut down ?
Doesn’t darkness shroud with scary silence ?
Black yet not so black, figures waiting to emerge ;
Is lack of silence, silence still ?

What does the earth hold not,
to cringe the mind forever in innocence..
Till the last breath exhaled
desperation to gain knowledge, decreases not.

The war against thy inner mind.
Who is the foe, thee know not.
In the end, the foe stays silent,
long after ye has slept forever.

Miniscule pleasure leaping with the heart,
wouldn’t these blocks produce the august monstrosity ?
Answer eludes as always, loneliness remains,
silent in this prison, impatiently waiting for thee.

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Love and Hate

Neutron — Mon, 19 Jan 2004 18:52:00 +0000

Like waves, high tides lashing continually,
the feeling keeps coming back again.
There exists not words to explain them,
abstract as they are, thoughts but realized.

What thee hold not, Love covers it ;
The desire of knowledge for omniscience stays
but in vain, blinded and short sighted,
Living in this shell trapped forever.

LOVE. A definition exists, not in words ;
The mental, physical and the metaphysical union,
striking pulses through flesh and nerve
seeming thy heart can hold more than earth doth offer.

HATE. Contrasting feelings, negations balance,
all that is loved is equally hated.
Rage and chemicals soar high with reactions
failing unknowingly to see the truth beneath as always !

This realization, the fork of the mind,
origins remain the same yet split to convolute ;
Innocence adds strength to the difference,
still the tangible truth ever clear stays bright.

If being in Love is to consume the mind,
with thoughts on thy precious
how Hate differs, torturing the mind,
with emotions negated on thy precious ?

Unseen truth remains, Hate is not illusion that covers
but that does not, over the mind, like grass in a meadow.
Love fills thoughts and Hate alike,
Is there an anomaly, i see nor know not yet.

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Yoga

Neutron — Sat, 06 Dec 2003 10:07:00 +0000

Yoga the control of the thoughts, which brings the ability to perceive the physical and mental unity, the path to realisation, is not plain as usual. It is an exercise, for the mind, to train it, to understand the intricacies and to feel one with it.

When i say, ‘like an exercise’, i mean so literally. I have realised that any exercise if practised with vigor and then discontinued for whatever reason for any short period of time shall degrade the effect and the bearer drastically. It is a sharp infinite knife over which caution is needed at every step, all through the way till the end aspiration has been reached. In essence, if yoga is practiced and the mind has been made to filter and ignore perversions, desire and other thoughts which bring morose, then beware when you even unknowingly quit it. The perversions as Mahesh puts it comes back with a vengeance and is more powerful knowing that you are weak without protection now. The mind works in subtle ways and shall fall prey to the atrocious and dark perversions which will take years to cleanse.

Mahesh goes through it now but i know not what he feels. When i cannot understand myself completely, how can i possibly judge another mind ?! The truth is blatant though but the answer seems far far away. Pressing ahead in this war against desire, hate, perversion, love and what not, I shall succeed. But when and at what cost(does it matter ?) I do not know.

The one who smears ashes on His body, hear me
Aspiration hard and burning,
The perverted crust melting,
The flow in the path beneath
I goest in thy way to reach thee ..

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Peace

Neutron — Wed, 03 Dec 2003 09:25:00 +0000

Bliss of silence descend down to me.
But without peace, it wreaks havoc,
Words inadequate.

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