Back to the absurd normality

I am back after a rush of intense work for the past 3 weeks. Everything is settled down and i don’t have much to do for the coming one week during the spring break. Just a couple of assignments but hopefully no time crunching tasks to take care of !

For today, all classes are over. My meeting with the prof went on well and got a couple of things to take care in my code to get it working the way it is supposed to work. But that is a good thing ! The code really works !

But what am i going to do otherwise ? Well, as it turns out, the plans to go to Columbus, Ohio and Savannah, Georgia to meet old buddies are cancelled and i am just going to lay back and relax here, with nothing much to do. Planned to go to Austin this weekend, but no confirmed plans as of yet and so totally tied to college station over the break.

It does feel weird when you had so much to do the last couple of days and when you suddenly have so much time, the reaction is the most unexpected. You start remembering all those people you’ve been with the last couple of years. Ugh, it is miserable. So, me going to get drunk and do the things i wanted to do for quite some time.

Start my own site. Well i have registered for the domain name quite some time back but nothing much is still in place. I should get it done by this weekend. And i designed a new template for this blog. It is coming out well too. Hopefully, before wednesday, this site will have a new look and i could move out the blog to my site also !

yeah its all the general boring stuff. But nothing much to write. Maybe i should catch up with all that sleep i missed but unfortunately, this doesn’t seem to be a cumulative effect. After working all through the wee hours in the last few days, i am still wide awake. Well i could babble on for some more time writing whatever i want, but am gonna stop now.

Probably should do more browsing or watch new movies or read the novels i picked up from the library. Can this become any more vegetative ? hmm .. Here comes the end of the ramble.

Success in failure

A test so trivial that even a whiner wouldn’t care
Floods this heart with so much pain and despair
Where from did this start, this passion for perfection
That it hurts to lose and spirals back into affliction ?

Weird it is. Or so it does seem.
As though a task needs to be completed, like in a dream,
Something strange at work pushes constantly
This psychic that aspires beyond chains.

The truth as always, is hidden to the naked eye.
Obvious and resplendent only when the mind awakes in pain
We learn by repetition and so i repeat.
All is good and chain of events continues without a dead beat.

Painkillers, the story

<div style="clear:both; padding-bottom: 0.25em;">
</div>

<p>
</p>

The touch of Death

Dreams and hallucinations like a bitter emotionHaunts the mind that evolves constantlyThe expansion of thoughts into unresolved boundariesReaching beyond the abysmal depths ;All the questions remain unanswered forever.

And Thou art Dead, as Young and Fair

By: George Gordon (Lord) Byron (1788-1824)

AND thou art dead, as young and fair
As aught of mortal birth;
And form so soft, and charms so rare,
Too soon return’d to Earth!
Though Earth receiv’d them in her bed,
And o’er the spot the crowd may tread
In carelessness or mirth,
There is an eye which could not brook
A moment on that grave to look.

I will not ask where thou liest low,
Nor gaze upon the spot;
There flowers or weeds at will may grow,
So I behold them not:
It is enough for me to prove
That what I lov’d, and long must love,
Like common earth can rot;
To me there needs no stone to tell,
‘T is Nothing that I lov’d so well.

Yet did I love thee to the last
As fervently as thou,
Who didst not change through all the past,
And canst not alter now.
The love where Death has set his seal,
Nor age can chill, nor rival steal,
Nor falsehood disavow:
And, what were worse, thou canst not see
Or wrong, or change, or fault in me.

The better days of life were ours;
The worst can be but mine:
The sun that cheers, the storm that lowers,
Shall never more be thine.
The silence of that dreamless sleep
I envy now too much to weep;
Nor need I to repine
That all those charms have pass’d away,
I might have watch’d through long decay.

The flower in ripen’d bloom unmatch’d
Must fall the earliest prey;
Though by no hand untimely snatch’d,
The leaves must drop away:
And yet it were a greater grief
To watch it withering, leaf by leaf,
Than see it pluck’d to-day;
Since earthly eye but ill can bear
To trace the change to foul from fair.

I know not if I could have borne
To see thy beauties fade;
The night that follow’d such a morn
Had worn a deeper shade:
Thy day without a cloud hath pass’d,
And thou wert lovely to the last,
Extinguish’d, not decay’d;
As stars that shoot along the sky
Shine brightest as they fall from high.

As once I wept, if I could weep,
My tears might well be shed,
To think I was not near to keep
One vigil o’er thy bed;
To gaze, how fondly! on thy face,
To fold thee in a faint embrace,
Uphold thy drooping head;
And show that love, however vain,
Nor thou nor I can feel again.

Yet how much less it were to gain,
Though thou hast left me free,
The loveliest things that still remain,
Than thus remember thee!
The all of thine that cannot die
Through dark and dread Eternity
Returns again to me,
And more thy buried love endears
Than aught except its living years.

— Don’t know what to say. The depth of the poem chokes me with emotions.

A Briefer History of Time.

<p>
</p>

Toughest Week ever.

<p>
  </span>
</p>

<ul>
  <li>
    <div align="justify">
      <span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;">Graded 40 papers of undergraduate students, and being the first time, made sure i got this right, with enough comments, and not being too mean. And yeah, everyone was satisfied, including my prof !</span>
    </div>
  </li>
  
  <li>
    <div align="justify">
      <span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;">Completed 3 homework assignments, in 624, 606 and Math 602 ! And did them well too !</span>
    </div>
  </li>
  
  <li>
    <div align="justify">
      <span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;">Finished a lab report for 606 on a single night. It came out well though i found out that i failed to discuss some things that were required .. Well i guess that is just the downside of working with deprived sleep.</span>
    </div>
  </li>
  
  <li>
    <div align="justify">
      <span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;">And yeah, the Research work for my proposal. The code came out quite well and i solved the equations right. The answer is still not right but working on it. Definitely a huge step forward and i am finally understanding clearly on what i am doing !</span>
    </div>
  </li>
  
  <li>
    <div align="justify">
      <span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;">My home computer crashed. But the hardware guy in me ripped open the computer and fixed it ! Voila ! Now it works like a breeze &#8230;</span>
    </div>
  </li>
</ul>

<p align="justify">
  <span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;">The only weirdest part is that my back hurts badly due to the averaged out 4 hours of sleep every day. Think this might be a bit too much for the body to handle right now but my mind seems to be calm and sane enough ! hmm &#8230; Can&#8217;t wait for this day to get over. Would love to go home, cook something, probably get drunk and sleep like a maniac.</span>
</p>

<p align="justify">
  <span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;">And there was my life this week in a nutshell. Adios amigo ! Will be back soon 😉</span>
</p>

<div style="clear:both; padding-bottom: 0.25em;">
</div>

<p>
</p>

Energy

Energy, the ultimate, untouchable yet filling,
Stored yet just hoarded, the potential unrealized
In every grain, that thrives and vibrates
In unison with everything else around it.

The split personality that it essentially is
The dark and its opposite
The vibrant and the calm
The visible and the imperceptible.

The overwhelming feeling of power over body
Surely wanes as the energy dies out
No food nor drink can refill this cup
Unless a higher path is reached and felt.

Unrest descends only to waste away
This conserved momentum and energy
If not consumed by the ascending mind
To break the body into divine shape.

Fun untasted.

<div style="clear:both; padding-bottom: 0.25em;">
</div>

<p>
</p>

if i were …

A month, i’d be: SeptemberA day of the week i’d be: FridayA time of day, i’d be: 00.00A planet, i’d be: MarsAn animal, i’d be: a SlothA direction, i’d be: NEWSA piece of furniture, i’d be: a BedA historical figure, i’d be: SocratesA liquid, i’d be: WhiskyA tree, i’d be: WillowA bird, i’d be: EagleA tool, i’d be: ScrewA kind of weather, i’d be: RainA musical instrument, i’d be: GuitarAn wild animal, i’d be: TigerA color, i’d be: Deep PurpleA vegetable, i’d be: a tomatoA sound, i’d be: a ScreamAn element, i’d be: FireA car, i’d be: Ferrari FX ( Ferrari Enzo )A song, i’d be: Serenity – GodsmackA movie, i’d be: The MatrixA book, i’d be: foghornA food, i’d be: an Ice-CreamA place, i’d be: OutsideA material, i’d be: CottonA taste, i’d be: NewA scent, i’d be: PleasantA word, i’d be: AspireAn object, i’d be: a ComputerA body part, i’d be: LipsA facial expression, i’d be: SmilingA subject in school, i’d be: MathA cartoon character, i’d be: DilbertA shape, i’d be a: SphereA number, i’d be: 7