Like always, searching through the archives, I stumbled upon an old post over at Crackled. And the reason hence, for this post …

What is interesting about the article is that, personally, I’ve been naive enough to assume every one of those 5 fallacies at one point or another. Every time, I think I’ve learnt and think that I can’t make the same mistakes again, but a slightly different situation always brings me back to the same coal pit, without even a hint of the downfall. And that is the beauty of nature, and why you and I, have to strive constantly to work towards training the mind to understand that fooling yourself, even for your own good, is dangerous.

But, what doesn’t kill you, only makes you stronger, eventually. And that is an axiom I do believe in strongly. And so we move on …

PS: I wanted to ask ‘Is common sense, common’ but considering that it is more of a cliche, I settled for the above title.

Past few years, I’ve changed my outlook towards life or rather refined would be a better way to put it and sitting alone, contemplating and meditating on how far I’ve come, still puzzles me. I want to say so many things, put forth ideas that could be useful to others but part of me does not feel like solidifying it in words. Unconsciously, the writer’s coma that I’ve been trying to wake up from has also been affecting my work and the vigor, passion seems to have fizzled a little, it seems. Now that I understand quite well what I do, it does not hold my interest as it once did. Bigger challenges await in future for sure but task unfinished grows from monotony.

Nevertheless, I’m trying to wiggle my big toe, the crud caught up in my mind, blocking my thought flow, to get going a new lease on life and realize the original priorities, to finish what I started. Abstract but clear, visible is a new beginning and an upcoming end of an old chapter.

I hope in another 4 months to finish the work and get my head around my plan for the future… Or maybe just a month of good sleep might clear my head enough to stop all this rambling.

Couple of days back, I had a panic attack. It was one of those days when nothing really goes your way, and you get frustrated at every little thing, driving you nuts, without a moment’s peace. I know, you’ve been there. This time, it was my wallet that took me to the edge. I just couldn’t find it. Its not like I completely did not remember what happened last time I used it but I remembered every time I had to use cash/card the past few days, but just couldn’t exactly place when I would have misplaced it. Of course, I went online to check my cards and there were no new charges on it. That was a relief and I eventually did find it, where it was supposed to be, albeit hidden from cursory looks.

Anyway, besides that, I started thinking whether someone would actually return the wallet back to me, if I had accidentally left it in a restaurant or a bar. I mean, if someone really had access to two credit cards, and a little cash, how honest a man/woman would you have to be to return it to the owner ? I know I would, because I spend quite a bit of time, unfortunately, looking introspectively at myself, setting rules to live by and ideals to follow through. But generally, it does raise the question on how honest people really are ?

I know quite a few people (friends and acquaintances) who would’ve called me to return the wallet but maybe my views are skewed.. I wonder what’s the probability that some completely random person would do it, considering that the economy is going down the crapper, people getting laid off, and poverty levels rising.

I believe that every person is capable of doing the socially acceptable, most moral and immoral acts, all the same, given the circumstance but would I be too naive to believe that we are capable of compassion and honesty even under dire situations ? I hope not, because that reflects on how far we’ve actually evolved.

If you were patient enough to read through this, do share your thoughts…

I was watching TV, working on my code, not paying any attention to what was going on. And I look up and hear Achilles say,

I’ll tell you a secret. Something they don’t teach you in your temple. The Gods envy us. They envy us because we’re mortal, because any moment might be our last. Everything is more beautiful because we’re doomed. You will never be lovelier than you are now. We will never be here again.

Beautiful. ‘Troy’, a movie that is pretty normal in most aspects IMO, packed a dialogue so intense, so true and elegant. I cannot even begin to express my appreciation in mere words, on the subtlety this transcends. It was like poetry…

In case you have not known, or I haven’t updated, I have successfully completed the Chicago Marathon before and a half marathon now called the Armadillo Dash recently. Of course, both the times, I was kind of disappointed with my timings because I was aiming for a faster pace but fell short. Not too terrible considering that this was my first shot at a gargantuan task (IMO) for my body, but nevertheless, I’ve learnt things about myself through these experiences.

And like most things that I love, running has become an addiction to me … It could be the release of endorphins after the run or may be the weak body pushed to its limits transcends into an exhilarating feeling following the finish. I do not know. But I have realized that you can extend the threshold on how much pain your body can endure. All the meditation, the focus, the will, the perseverance is what challenges you during those last miles and no matter how prepared you feel, for any race, the final sprint on the last mile, is beautiful.

I felt like rambling about running and so there it is … Anyway, the point being, I am hooked. And am not searching to cure this addiction !

I saw a comprehensive ranking of 200 different jobs at JobsRated.com which is kind of interesting.

I am disappointed that Nuclear engineering is rated at Rank 41 although what I feel is most certainly very different from the people who compiled the list. I am encouraged enormously since my work in the field requires me to be 1/3rd part Mathematician, 1/3rd part Nuclear engineer, 1/4th part Computational engineer and 1/12th part Physicist. And there you go: My job description.

Few of the things I care about in this endless pursuit of knowledge, as an individual on this earth … Concisely and very precisely thought out and written in simplicity:

1. Universe
2. Life
3. Death
4. Free Will
5. Sex

Michael Brooks on five mysteries of the universe.

Update: In a tangential topic, here are couple of things few others are worried, about the solar system: The Unknown Solar System.

Here I am, ignorant of a moment precious. The rare second, missed and unaccounted for eternity.

Makes me think at a large scale, what else I am missing every second …

Last minute of 2008 to be 61 seconds long.

My lack of command over the language disgusts me most times. Some times, it even forces me to stop talking. I remember once upon a time, I was fluent in more than 3 different tongues and now, I barely struggle to speak 2 of them without obvious trouble. Unfortunate though, the thoughts and feelings cannot see an outlet without these words formed well, else you perceive what I write very differently from what I intend. Sure, this has happened all this while but now that questions haunt more, the experience becomes even more critical.

Language limits, thoughts and expressions
Portrayed bland, lacking depth or feeling;
That hunger amiss and inspiration misplaced
Here written, more words without attachment.

So what do you say we give another shot to kill ’em writer’s block.

Am hearing Satriani with a bottle of good wine, after watchin a fantastic movie, and here’s me talking sane, as my insane hands type all by ’emself.

No I ain’t drunk. Or atleast not yet. But definitely am bitter at the feeble self typing this message. Feedback of sorts, I’ve been promising for months to keep this blog aloft and failed quite miserably. And now, I come to realization that maybe I should write no matter what since all those beautiful thoughts in my head seem to need an outlet.

Imperceptible as it might all seem, folks don’t get fooled by my changed writing accent. Here, now, I vow to write to my heart’s desire once again to reclaim this space I’ve ignored for so long.

Life has been harsh but has not taken a toll on me yet. I’ve seen worse as compared to where I am and so I have prevailed life’s cruel efforts to keep me down. People have called me “insensitive” to their pain, folks that have known me closely for 10 years but believe me, I’ve changed not. This coming year, I promise thee to deliver content worthy of thou time and enlightening enough to defeat buddha’s words.

Here’s another, to a happy new year !